Currently listening to : Turn Around - Flo Rida


I love you so much that I never really care about things around anymore. I started telling more and more lies now. It doesn't feels good lying to my parents like all the time, but you won't know how much it worth even telling lies, just to see you smile. You make me feels good seeing you smile. Time really flies. It's been a month. A month ago, the heart dropping feels in Mc Donalds, I do remember.


Thanks for being there for me for this 1 whole month. I wouldn't say it's looooong. But it means a lot to me. We've been spending so much time together. Thanks for being there wiping off my tears when I'm upset, giving me hugs and kisses that I'll never forget how it felt. I'll never forget how your lips felt on mine for the first time, and you holding me in front of your family and your friends. Thanks for being there for everything, every second spent with you was so priceless.

I wish you had your day. I don't know whether you felt it the way I did. But all I do, I really wish it does mean something to you too. I've been spending so much time on that. And meeting your family and friends is the awesomest things ever. I'll never forget how it feels like stepping in to your house, with your mom and brother sitting in the living room, my heart really DROPS!


Now that all my friends are saying that I seem happy, with somebody new, I do really feel that way. At least for now. We've got months or maybe years to go. I really wish we could last.

You always made my day. No matter how bad it was, it turned good, at least better. I love seeing you falling asleep next to me, holding my hand. Pure simpleness. It'll last. It will. :)


Thanks for being there for everything, and making me the princess. Having you here means a lot. It's awesome.


Happy belated birthday my dear, I love you. :)





XOXO

Currently listening to : What's My Name - Rihanna featuring Drake


I remember those days, when I was a kid, real kid living in a house, only daddy, mummy and me.
When I was a kid, everything was so simple, so good, so perfect.
When I was a kid, daddy and mummy quarrel, but they were just good after that.

Those were when I was a kid.


My main point now is about mummy. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you now mom, you are losing my respect already. Seriously, you want others to be good to you, show some respect please, even to the little ones. You want me to treat you like my mom, TREAT ME LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER. I'm so sick of talking to you, what you do is scold, scold and scold. I did nothing! It's just a very small stuff, I even called home and ask if you need me to buy you dinner, I wouldn't call if I don't care about you! And all you know how to do is scold? And not talking for days because of this small stuff? Smart ass, I'll never ask if you need anything anymore.


" See how the way you treat Daryl now? You started to behave like that fella already. " Daddy said to me.


Daddy. Fed up already. I always wanted to ask him " Why you'd marry mom at the first place? " Why aren't you tired of fighting? All I know she does is fight, in this family. Now you see why me and my brother always fight? And now I know why dad likes to go back to Malacca, there's where true family is. Things that doesn't exist right here.


You've been complaining 'bout me and Daryl, the only siblings but fighting like everyday. You never see where all this comes from. Look at the way you talk to grandma. You always say we don't know what manners is. Now you see where it comes from. You talk to her, noooo, not talk, you shout at her. You come home, step in to the house, with I don't know what kind of annoying face, like you're the only one come home with stress from work.

Everytime I was trying to put some effort to make things better, it comes out worst. This is not how a family suppose to be! I thought we have to be like supporting each other instead of stepping on each other? I'm so sick of this. You know what? Seeing your parents not talking to each other at all for months doesn't make the kids feels good okay? Everything you wanna talk to dad, goes through either me or Daryl. Daryl might be too young to know what's going on, but I can't stand this. I don't know what I will do if I couldn't take this any longer.


And daddy, I tell you what, I promise, I swear, I will never be like mummy. Never! I'll always be your daddy's little girl. I will never treat you like how she did! Seriously, I love you.


And mom, for your information, dad won't be able to take this any futher as I know, totally fed up already.


I guess you just did figured something out. I tell you what? I won't let you ruin my relationship ever again. Not this one!

Currently listening to : Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift


I've been staying single for 4 months after Del left me, now that I really did get over everything, vanished memories we used to had, and took Weng as my new boyfriend. Time flies, isn't it? :)

I never thought things will move this way, it's like, just a minute or two before this, we were just like friends sitting in Mc Donalds talking 'bout random stuff, and everything turned the other way round just in a second, in a text messages that makes my heart drops. LOL. I was so freaked out, not knowing what to do. It sounds so stupid, not even him dares to do the talking that time. :)


I talked to Cheng Yee 'bout it right after that, I kinda regretted. I can't see the future, I have the "Hey Chermayne? You never like boys like this!" thought.

And that I didn't even realized I fell for this guy already, I wouldn't spend so much time with him if I don't. He did so much for me, even when we were still friends. He came look for me and we had lunch together almost every friday, where my lunch hour sometimes wasn't even half an hour. He waited for me to finish work at 5.30 downstairs at Mc Donalds or Starbucks, instead of staying at home on a friday evening. He send me back to Mon't Kiara almost every monday after basketball training, like I'll faint halfway if I go back on my own. He came pick me up every monday morning at the station and we had breakfast at Old Town together. He came and bring me out for lunch like on past few saturdays, and sat in Starbucks with me for hours until mummy came pick me up. He waited with me for mummy to finish meeting for 3 hours till almost 8 at night. He sent me home, all the way back to Cheras, when he doesn't even know the way. He wakes me up early in the morning, for me to get my piano work done. He texts me all the time. He tells me everything, so do I. :)


We've been together for like only 3 days, officially, but we've been through so much, I lost count.



I tell lies, I lied to daddy just to go out with him. Daddy's good, I love you. Hahaha. :)

Coming all the way from Kepong, I don't know is it really that near like he said, it sounds pretty far to me. Losing his way to my place, and I was like waited for almost an hour. Got scolded by grandma going out so late, but worth it.


I had a really great night with all the heart to heart talk, the way he hold me and kissed me under the firework at 1 in the midnight. He's my first boyfriend ever that makes me smile when he kissed me. :) And the way he looked, so stupid when he can't remember the way back, and his stubborness. :)



At least for now, I never regret saying yes. He's a good boyfriend that I don't know where else to find. It does takes time to understand someone like him, all of us sees the same thing I guess. He never fails putting a smile on my face.


I wouldn't say I love you forever, nothing lasts forever for me. Time flies, thing fades. But for now, I know I love you.

Really do. :)



Loves,
XOXO ♥

Currently listening to : Haunted - Taylor Swift



All I gonna do now is be a good and responsible girlfriend, and stand by him all the time.

I love you. :)


XOXO

Currently listening to : Na na na - My Chemical Romance


I screwed my English Presentation last week 'cause I wasn't prepared. My mind actually went blank right after I got up from my seat, standing in front of them. So fucking screwed man! All I do was reading the notes that I'd memorized. I was asked to redo, I think I kinda made up my mind already, now I'm not gonna redo. xD I'll just take the passing marks then. :)



23rd Oct 2010.

Went to work in the morning, and then lunch in the afternoon at Garden Cafe in Solaris Mon't Kiara. :) The food was okay okay only lah compare to like few months back when I first went there with mummy.

Currently listening to : Back To December - Taylor Swift


I cried listening to Back to december for the first time, it's so touching. :( The song, the lyrics, meant for Taylor Lautner. Okay, that's like obviously if you're a fan of Taylor.




I'm so glad you made time to see me.
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while.
You've been good, busier then ever.
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why.

Cause the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to December all the time.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right.
I go back to December all the time.

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving,
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
Realized that I loved you in the fall.
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind.
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye.

So this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night.
And I go back to December all the time.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right,
And how you held me in your arms that September night,
The first time you ever saw me cry.
Maybe this is wishful thinking,
Probably mindless dreaming
If we loved again I swear I'd love you right.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand.

But this is me swallowing my pride,
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night,
And I go back to December.
Turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you,
Wishing that I realized what I had when you were mine.
I'd go back to December turn around and make it alright.
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind.
I go back to December all the time.

All the timeUndeniable, the DEC's are the awesomest friends ever on earth. Seriouly. :)


XOXO

Currently listening to : Fuck You - Cee-Lo Green


First, I was trying to do my IOM tutorial in the living hall. Then I felt hot, I carried everything back in to my room, but I still feel hot, then I changed my t-shirt. Then I don't feel hot anymore. I started reading the first line of the question. I pick up a highlighter, but it's out of ink. Then I went downstairs and ask for highlighter from my brother. Then I saw Gossip Girl on the tv, I sat down and watched for half an hour. Then I got upstairs, I felt hungry. I went down again and look for biscuit. So I'm nom-ing the biscuit now and ended up here.


The End.






Was so sick this morning, I skipped lecture and Co-cu and went home early, by myself. Give me a big clap. LOL I'm so dying next monday, what am I gonna do if the basketball hits me right at my face. -.- Hahaha.



Nights peeps! xD




I miss you girls. ♥


XOXO